Fridayness

I am trying really hard to eat healthier. It might be too little too late for my weight. But, I am still trying. For lunch today I had a small salad with a light vinegar dressing I make at home:

-Balsamic vinegar
-SMALL drop of fat free peanut butter
-small amount of extra virgin olive oil.

Whisk and adjust to taste. If you like a bitter sweet dressing, skip the peanut butter and add a half a packet of splenda, or your prefered sweetener.

I also took a small chicken breast. I sliced it thinly, and steamed it. No butter, no seasonings. I then added a quater of that to my salad. As a treat for myself I gave myself 5 baby carrot sticks and a table spoon of a spinach dip I made a few days ago. The spinach dip isnt really great for you but it's a little something to keep me from feeling like i am being deprived!

-2 cups chopped spanish;washed and drained.
-1/2 cup fat free mayo
-16 oz of fat free sour cream
-1 package of nors vegetable dip

Generally this is an appetizer served in a hollowed out bread bowl. Then one would fan out veggies, and bagel chips to dip with. However if u just make the dip, you will have a TON. If it is just you eating it, I find making half of that recipe is good. You will stil have PLENTY of dip, enough to last at least a week.

To drink i substituted my normal green tea for an acai and pomegranate juice I bought at the health store yesterday. It is a bit sweet for my taste. I poured half a serving into a glass with 8 oz of water as well. It diluted it enough to make it a refreshing juice drink. I only bought a small bottle which has 11.5 oz, 2 servings. So only use a quater of that bottle!

I feel a lot better which is good. And as much as my body is craving salty, chocolate-y goodness. I am not giving in as baddly as I would in the past. I found a bad of left over chocolates and am allowing myself one every other day.

While I am feeling better, my period if throwing me for a loop. I supose it is all those months of not having one! Spring cleaning , haha. I went to the mall yesterday wearing the normal tampon and pad for backup. I came armed with 2 other tampons 'just in case'. I spent a total of 3 hours shopping between the mall and a few random shops, plus groceries. I went through everything I had. Thank god for the pad! I ended up buying heavier duty everythings becasue I got nervous. By the time I got home I was tired, achey and the excessive bleeding was finally stopping. I have NEVER had it that baddly before. I was a little scared. It seemed to be better this morning. So, fingers crossed!

Happy Weekend Lovelies. One week and counting until my baby is home and my cousins weekend wedding!!

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Wednesday

Well, after nearly 4 months of no period. I finally got it.

I am usually late/never get it for months. My longest was 6 months.

I took a pregnancy test after my second skipped period because I had a lot of wierdness going on. Weight gain, even with eating less and exercising more, breast swelled a little. I was cranky, tired and my stomach always felt sour. I thought... I don't know, Maybe?

I want to me a mom, and I know with some medical issues, that it would be hard. I thought with everything going on it could be stress, or a flair of PCOS, which would be sad and sucky. Saddly I think it was the latter.

Glen and I have talked about kids. Given our age difference, we both agree that we don't want to end up like my parents. While my mom was 30 when she had me, my dad was 42. By the time I was graduating highschool and ready to see the world, he was getting ready to retire.

Obviously we both agree that we would prefer to be married and settled before we have kids, if it happened, neither of us would look upon it as a bad thing. I think in the back of my mind, with my sister losing her 7 yr old, then both sisters having miscarried a few times,and losing mom... I guess I kind of hoped for a bit of a shining light. Oh well.

I am bleeding really heavy today, which is ok I guess. I just feel crampy and tired. It also explains my wild mood swings the past few weeks.I have to wear a pad because I am bleeding right through the tampons during the heaviest times. It is pretty gross. I feel kinda sad though. It is hard to explain. I mean, I knew I was not pregnant after I took my little pee stick test, But still.

Anyway, In lighter news, Scott and Nicole are getting married next week. I a super excited. I am also strongly ignoring the fact that I will have to stand up infront of all my friends and family and READ. It makes me nervous to my core. I have issues standing up in front of people I won;t care if they judge me. But this... this is scary. Being the first reader I set the low bar for everyone to jump over, god i hope someone messes up!

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