The I Hates Have It

Goin along in my copycat fashion I have noticed a large amount of I hate videos. The gist of it is just a person venting their peeves. I hate this or I hate that. No bashing. Just Hating. Since I am currently sitting here looking rather unfashionable I decided to make a list. I seem to like lists! So here goes!!

I HATE:
1. People who come from good upstanding homes but insist on speaking "ghetto". I am not a dawg, boo, bitch, or gangsta. Frankly.. neither are you. You are not K-fed.

2. How every girl who happens to be skinny thinks they can be a model.

3. People who post half naked pictures on Facebook.

4. Finishing a book only to realize the next book in the series doesn't come out until next year.

5. People who take online games so seriously.

6. People who don't use their turn signals

7. Driving in traffic.

8. Family who thinks finishing college is as easy as telling me to. If you want to pay for it, FINE.

9. When a brand new lightbulb blows for no reason.

10. That gay couples are not given the same rights as EVERYONE else.

11. That we live in a world where most people are so poor they can't afford to feed their children, yet othersare so rich they never know what hard times are.

12. Judge Judy. She just annoys me to death.

13. That clothing stores only sell things up to a 'fashionable' size. As far as I am concerned, that is just another way to discriminate.

14. Standing in line.

15. Paying full price for an item, only to have it go on sale the next day.

16. Having a show cut halfway through the season.

17. Being corrected, even if I am wrong.

18. When you text, call, email, voicemail or whatever someone and they don't reply until it's too late.

19. Notes. If you are going to be sitting right in the next room do not tape a not to my wall, door, window, or mirror. Supose I don't go in that room that day, or don't see said note, or said note falls off. What then?!

20. Bugs. I just can't.

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A Note to My 17 Year old Self..

It's been a while. With all the changes(and a funny blog i read) I decided to write a message from current me to my 17 yr old self.

1. You are fine the way you are. Stop trying so hard to 'fit in'.

2. Bragging about your 'sexual' life does NOT make you cool, only desperate.

3. Your body is perfect you YOU. You were never meant to be super thin.

4. You will miss that old convertible you have. Drive it as often as you can before someone hits you and you can't anymore!

5. Your friends are not your whole life. Get to know your family better. In later years it will be them who you turn to for comfort and laughs not those girls you worshiped.

6. Missing a friendly outting is OKAY. You do not need to be present for every single coffee or random drive.

7. Pay more attention in school.Those good grades you've gotten are not an accurate guage of how much you have learned, but how easy your schools testing skills were. Later on you will wish your parents had sent you to a private school.

8. Stop trying so hard to meet a man. Just because other girls are serial dating does not mean you have to. You WILL meet someone amazing.

9. Really start deciding what you want out of life. What are your goals, your skills. Soon you will lose your way and wish you had looked more at those things than what you could fall back on.

10. You will feel a lot of regrets for stupid actions of your youth. It's ok, we learn from our mistakes.

11. Ask for the Vera Bradley purse. You will still have it to this day. It has a lot of memories and looks like a rag, but you will love it regardless.

12. Be nice, but do not get to be close friends with your friends boyfriends. However innocent you are things WILL get twisted around and you will be caught in a jealousy battle.

13. Your are beautiful without all that makeup. However, unless you wear at least some, people will always think you are too young.

14. Your parents are right. About most important things anyway.

15. Stop dressing like a bum. Sweatshirts, t-shirts with sayings and jeans are not fashionable and make you look lazy.

16. Wear better shoes. Your body will love you for it later. Flip flops and smelly sneakers are not all year wear. Buy a pair of heels.

17. You can not eat the large portions your thing friends eat. They wont gain the weight like you will. Eat what you like in moderation.

18. Stay active. It's easy to sit around doing nothing...but it catches up.

19. Those bad habits your friends are getting you into. Quit now.

20. Spend more time with your mom. You will only have her a few more years...

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Since No One Reads This..

I can tell my new secret...

I..am..engaged.

I am still trying to wrap my little brain around this. There was surprise, one knee, a ring, a little speech that I pretty much missed because I was too busy staring in shock. I don't know where the shock came from. It's not like I did not know to expect it. Just.... not now.

We have spoken about it, probably for months. We pretty much have our 'wedding' planned out because neither of us want a big affair; I hate the attention and this is G's second marraige.

Married. Holy shhhh.. I really am a little freaked out. I know he wanted to talk to my Dad before hand, but being as this weekend was jammed, and any time we weren;t surrounded by family, he was sleeping...the talk didnt happen.

You can blame me. We have a bit of a long time 'joke', if you will. Involving what I call shinies. G does a great job with jewelry, and it is almost always something with some sort of shiny stone. thus... shinies. I had gotten my dander up and had spent the past few weeks joking about shinies. Then just before the wedding weekend, he had been excited with his savings of recent. I had told him he could buy me a pretty, fun gift...I was expecting something like silly jammies or a candy necklace. More jokes. The night of the ring, I was being a nag. I wanted to know what was my present?! Had be brought me sand from the beach? whhhaaat. Eventually he dropped to the knee.

I don;t know if my dad is happy or not. He seemed confused. As if I did not know that a diamond ring generally leads to a wedding band and all of that. Did he think he raised a fool. I know I am his baby, but in fact I am OLDER than my sister was when she was married. And it's not like I plan to go out and get married next week.

G spilled the beans to my sisters. I really did not want to tell anyone until after the wedding weekend. I didn't want to steal the spotlight from the bride and groom. Instead I was ambushed in the bathroom by them. I tried to make it clear I was not wearing a ring because I have fatty fingers and needed it sized. I was not telling them first, because i wanted to wait a few days. My dad hasnt mentioned it since. I guess he is waiting for G to hop on a plane back to work before he corners me. I have to say, I am NOT looking forward. He has a way of stewing, cornering and totally overlooking the facts. He sees: I am youngish, I havent been spouting love letters and wedding talk (with HIM) and I am SURE he has a million opinions. At least my sisters seemed happy.

It bums me that he might rain on my parade; I have not even told anyone yet because I wanted him to be first. It bums me out that he knows it will be hard enough without my mom, let alone having him be displeased for reasons that don;t make sense. It bums me out to see the looks of pleasure on his face when my sister's told him. Neither if THEIR men even bothered to talk things over with him. At least G wanted to try, he made the effort and still insisted on telling him face to face man to man, before anyone else.

So. EEEEK

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Dancing Queen

I have always been a wierd sleeper.

As a child I could sleep anywhere anytime if I was tired. Regardless of the tempeture, cushioning and sounds around me. A specific example of this being about 9 yrs old at my dad's friend's house while they watched a big pay per view boxing match. I feel asleep infront of a big screen tv, surround sound and about 15 yelling men. Did not even phase me.

As I got a little older sleeping became harder. I would lay around for hours not sleeping but once I hit tht sleep mode nothing could wake me up. 15 years old, mini tornado tour of the steeple of a church less than 1 mile from my home. My parents actually packed up and moved into the basement and left me because I would not wake up.

Now, I hardly sleep. There are nights I don't even start to feel tired until 4 or 5 in the morning. my doctor tried sleep tests and sleeping pills. He recvently convinced me that I should take the sample he had with 2 in it.

I took one tonight and i feel like I am losing it. my concentration is out the door. But I am still not tired. juist extremely wierd. It is hard to explain except it feels like all the cellls in my body are dancing , while myself as a whole is swimming throuigh thickened air.

I think i wont take these again. good night.

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Ho Hum

Nothing out of the ordinary today. Well that's not really true is it? I slept till 1pm today, which was... different. I also cheated on the eating healthy. I found this amazing smelling garlic herb roll. I added a teaspoon of riccotta cheese and sprinkle of garlic, oregano and mozarella to each. Popped it in the toaster. Yummmmms.

Other than that I just relaxed all day and mooned over the obviously rain-ready weather. Why is it the days I am most busy are ther days it is most nice out. I really would love to sit in the sun.

So, today I am boring. Doing laundry and chatting with G <3

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Fridayness

I am trying really hard to eat healthier. It might be too little too late for my weight. But, I am still trying. For lunch today I had a small salad with a light vinegar dressing I make at home:

-Balsamic vinegar
-SMALL drop of fat free peanut butter
-small amount of extra virgin olive oil.

Whisk and adjust to taste. If you like a bitter sweet dressing, skip the peanut butter and add a half a packet of splenda, or your prefered sweetener.

I also took a small chicken breast. I sliced it thinly, and steamed it. No butter, no seasonings. I then added a quater of that to my salad. As a treat for myself I gave myself 5 baby carrot sticks and a table spoon of a spinach dip I made a few days ago. The spinach dip isnt really great for you but it's a little something to keep me from feeling like i am being deprived!

-2 cups chopped spanish;washed and drained.
-1/2 cup fat free mayo
-16 oz of fat free sour cream
-1 package of nors vegetable dip

Generally this is an appetizer served in a hollowed out bread bowl. Then one would fan out veggies, and bagel chips to dip with. However if u just make the dip, you will have a TON. If it is just you eating it, I find making half of that recipe is good. You will stil have PLENTY of dip, enough to last at least a week.

To drink i substituted my normal green tea for an acai and pomegranate juice I bought at the health store yesterday. It is a bit sweet for my taste. I poured half a serving into a glass with 8 oz of water as well. It diluted it enough to make it a refreshing juice drink. I only bought a small bottle which has 11.5 oz, 2 servings. So only use a quater of that bottle!

I feel a lot better which is good. And as much as my body is craving salty, chocolate-y goodness. I am not giving in as baddly as I would in the past. I found a bad of left over chocolates and am allowing myself one every other day.

While I am feeling better, my period if throwing me for a loop. I supose it is all those months of not having one! Spring cleaning , haha. I went to the mall yesterday wearing the normal tampon and pad for backup. I came armed with 2 other tampons 'just in case'. I spent a total of 3 hours shopping between the mall and a few random shops, plus groceries. I went through everything I had. Thank god for the pad! I ended up buying heavier duty everythings becasue I got nervous. By the time I got home I was tired, achey and the excessive bleeding was finally stopping. I have NEVER had it that baddly before. I was a little scared. It seemed to be better this morning. So, fingers crossed!

Happy Weekend Lovelies. One week and counting until my baby is home and my cousins weekend wedding!!

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Wednesday

Well, after nearly 4 months of no period. I finally got it.

I am usually late/never get it for months. My longest was 6 months.

I took a pregnancy test after my second skipped period because I had a lot of wierdness going on. Weight gain, even with eating less and exercising more, breast swelled a little. I was cranky, tired and my stomach always felt sour. I thought... I don't know, Maybe?

I want to me a mom, and I know with some medical issues, that it would be hard. I thought with everything going on it could be stress, or a flair of PCOS, which would be sad and sucky. Saddly I think it was the latter.

Glen and I have talked about kids. Given our age difference, we both agree that we don't want to end up like my parents. While my mom was 30 when she had me, my dad was 42. By the time I was graduating highschool and ready to see the world, he was getting ready to retire.

Obviously we both agree that we would prefer to be married and settled before we have kids, if it happened, neither of us would look upon it as a bad thing. I think in the back of my mind, with my sister losing her 7 yr old, then both sisters having miscarried a few times,and losing mom... I guess I kind of hoped for a bit of a shining light. Oh well.

I am bleeding really heavy today, which is ok I guess. I just feel crampy and tired. It also explains my wild mood swings the past few weeks.I have to wear a pad because I am bleeding right through the tampons during the heaviest times. It is pretty gross. I feel kinda sad though. It is hard to explain. I mean, I knew I was not pregnant after I took my little pee stick test, But still.

Anyway, In lighter news, Scott and Nicole are getting married next week. I a super excited. I am also strongly ignoring the fact that I will have to stand up infront of all my friends and family and READ. It makes me nervous to my core. I have issues standing up in front of people I won;t care if they judge me. But this... this is scary. Being the first reader I set the low bar for everyone to jump over, god i hope someone messes up!

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