Weekend Recap

So as previously posted, I was at my sisters this weekend!

After 2 days of crazy searching I found an adorable dress for the wedding.

Black Knee length dress with pink accents. Its not really what I had in mind, but I really dont wish to shop anymore..so..I wont. besides, it was only $25. How could I go wrong. Hoorah Bargain shopping!

I need shoes. Porbab ly heels. SIGH

Other than that we had a few sad moments, stopping at my nephews grave, and thinking about mama.

We also went to a farm certified in raw milk selling so I decided to try a half gallon, and some fresh eggs. I love local businesses. The extrmemely nice farmer who looks more like a frat boy... is selling his 5 bedroom farm house. If i had a chance in hell of getting a mortgage right now... I would scoop it up. Stone house circa 1930. GORGEOUS.

Anywho, I am feeling a but sluggish today due to the cold, windy, rainy bleh weather.

Blog on

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Bittersweet memories..

My feelings on the next two days are bittersweet.

While I am excited to have some girl time with my sister, I dread tomorrow the most.
Not only is tomorrow the 2 month since mama passed, but we are going to my sisters house.
The last time I was at my sisters was the last time i saw my mother well. I use the term 'well' loosely because she was so sick for so many years, but i define well as living, breathing, laughing,talking on her own and not in the hospital.

So, my heart is getting heavier and heavier as the hours pass into tomorrow. It will be hard to be there thinking of all the memories. This is especially hard as it is the first time my father and I will leave the house for more than a few hours at a time.

I supose no one knows how I feel better than my sister. Losing her little boy two years ago was hard enough, losing her step-mom;my mom was even harder, having miscarried last week. worse. She knows what it is like to go to place with memories, to make it through one day at a time.

I miss my mommy. I miss her so much it hurts constantly. They say depression hurts... They we'rent kidding. Too early Too soon. My heart it sad.

welll... happy weekend i supose. blog on..

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Add a little pepper-spray to your day

So at the risk of sounding childish, I am sitting here locked in my room clutching a can of camo pink pepper spray. Thank god for Dillon always forgetting things at my house.

Why am i sitting here like this you ask?

I was going down stairs to get a cup of coffee wondering why the house was freazing...

I hit the landing to see my front door wide open. This is wierd because A.) No one else is home at the moment, nor have they been for at least 2 hours...B.) No one uses my front door. We have lived in said house for 15 years and our stairs are wooden. The front steps are in major need of replacing which we have happening in the next few weeks. Because of this we have a common idea to not use them... just in case ya know?

ramble ramble. Im nervous, sue me.

So the door is wide open. i tip toe back up stairs, check my room just to be sure and lock myself in. I had been on the phone, had the dryer running, and i generally have my door closed. It wouldnt surprise me if I didnt hear the door. Even if i did, I would assume it was my father coming home. No big deal?

Right, except now it is. So i call my boyfriend. He suggests I call the police. But me, I'm an idiot. I don't want to look like a fool if theres no one here. So, I dig in my drawer, find the pepper spray, glance around and grab one of my weights. so i tip toe around the upper floor, all clear.

"I have a gun and i've called the police!", I shout like a loon. No response. What did i expect?Really?!

I creep downstairs, the door is still open, theres no sound. After 2 laps around the downstairs and a quick glance in the garage and driveway, I am satisfied there is no one here.

Just in case i dash back upstairs, lock the door and call my father. Next I call Glen, my boyfriend and announce my all clear.

My mind wanders a bit: Why was the door open!?

My only conclusion is: A.) The door blew open with the wind, despite the fact it is always kept locked...or B.) It's possible ending my phone call with an exclaimation of wanting more tea, I indeed interrupted a possible break in.

While both ideas seem unlikely, I really can not think of another way. I really prefer to think the wind is just extremely strong ands magical. Until someone gets home, perhaps I will stay locked away?

well. Here's to hoping. Blog on.

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We've got a winner!

Okay so in my last rant i was complaining about possibly owing our government money...

Something amazing happened.

Apparently I was on the borderline for getting nada, and one little number pushed me into the bracket of money-gettin..

In the end I walked away with the promise of a couple hundred dollars.

My unemployed wept with joy, would i have greedily liked more? Of course! Will i squander the little bit i recieved? Not a chance!

::Happy dances::

So anyway, then i realize I actually have to PAY to get said taxes done, woe is me. I pull out my checkbook expecting to shed a tear and hand over the money..

What happens you ask?

"Your payment has been taken care of this year! Thanks for being a repeat customer to our new firm"

::hand holding check book shakes a bit:: ::glance around for the candid camera crew::

Whats the catch?

The is no catch, my father graciously paid for my taxes for all the help I've been offering.

Then he turns around and tells me he'd like to pay for me to get my hair done, new clothes and even a dress for my cousins wedding... What is happening here? This is my father who insisted i start paying my own bills and way at 16, suddenly im halfway through 23 and he decides to start lending a hand.. Excuse me while i accept. I may have pride but i am no fool. And school?! he wants to pay for me to go back to school. Hell must be freazing over and I must really be dead and having a wicked dream.

I'll have to keep track and work on paying him back.

All in all this day is good. I decided to make the meatloaf tonight even though it is just us.

Blog on!

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Excuse my brain it's a little behind...

So I woke up this morning, its finally stopped raining! It is sunny, it is "warmer", i place my coffee cup under the Keurig machine, lift the lid and check for a cup; score a fresh one! Put the lid back down look for the flashing light, coffee time! hit the large cup and walk away. Make a small breakfast, grab earlier mentioned cup.... and...its EMPTY!!!

Hmm, maybe i was too tired and only imagined i heard the amazing brewing noise?

Try again.

Nope, my water is being re-routed... back into the water holder. WTF is this. Give me coooffeeeeee.

*weep**whimper*

unplug, pout,try yet again.

No coffee. Stare at old normal coffee maker in confusion. How..do..I..work..this?

Make coffee, bad coffee, wait wait wait... ok. drink.

Rememeber i have an appointment with my tax guy today. This day is already off tilt.

The end.

And thus ends the story of my coffee addiction. It has been over a year since I have so much as LOOKED at my old school coffee maker. Thank heavens i still OWN one. With the Keurig, its grab a cup of choice stick it in. 1 minute later a fresh brewed original cup for each person.

I really would not be surprised if this is decaf. Or just the worst coffee i have tasted in a year. Bleeeh.

I am finally getting my taxes done... i know i know, way to procrastinate. Hopefully my late-itude will make me not have to wait 2 hours after my appointment time like last year. I'll go in, hand him my W2, college credit form and voila. He'll either tell me i get NADA, or he'll magically find me home... in which case i'll still have to pay him WAY too much to get my taxes done. SIGH.

Can a girl not catch a break?! If there is a god gracing this earth, I will at least break even. That would suck, but hey at least I wouldnt LOSE money. Although, I have heard cases this year of people getting more money back than ever before. Fingers crossed, this unemployed lady could use a little cash in her account.

My boyfriend got a few hundred extra than ever before, will my fate be the same? I doubt it sincerely.

Anywho, If i dont stop the whine fest, I might actually MISS said appointment, so, off i go, wish me luck!

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A little bit of a lot of nothings...

It's been a pretty uneventful day.To be honest, it feels like the day will never end. Around 1pm i began to feel like it was really suposed to be 4pm and i should be considering ideas for dinner and not lunch.

Dinner ideas are scarce right now. I got off track with my weekly meal planning. This would be along with my off the track shopping schedule. Gone are the days when i went to the store on a regular day, gone are the days when i shopped with my handy dandy meal plan. Is it wierd that this loss of organization is making me stress often?

Pop doesn't seem to get that we can not live off of tv dinners and bread. I need meat, i need veggies, i need fruit! What i NEED is a cook and a maid. ha ha ha!

It has to be said, that while mom was sick i shouldered most of the household duties. In the time i was out of the house between then and now, this house has gotten out of control. Aside from basic sweeping, dusting, and mopping, I can not seem to get into it anymore. I look at a room my father has... shall we say...inhabited. Piles of papers, empty cups, dirty dishes, used K-cups.(Mere HOURS after I tackled it!) It gives me hives just trying to decide where to START in the cleaning process. (again)

I also must confess while i love to cook, i dislike the idea that its EXPECTED. Its gotten to the point: Jessica doesn't cook, we dont eat.Beyond that, i began making a meatloaf today, halfway into mixing my meat, he comes in and declares he wants leftovers tonight and tomorrow he'll be out for dinner with friends. So now i have said meatloaf wrapped up, maybe i'll be spiteful and make it for myself tomorrow... I do make a mean meatloaf.

Anywhoo, aside from the cleaning and cooking monsters lurking in the shadows, I have applied to some schools to further my education, and I have applied for a few jobs. YAY. fingers crossed!


Happy Tuesday blog world. blog on.

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Honkty Tonk, or something like that

My dad brought me home this free CD.

Why he thinks I would want a CD that a bunch of comical singers making fun of 'hicks', is beyond me.

Example: You done took my heart and stomped it into peices.
or
You low down stinkin skunk.

Yeah, sorry Poppy, but I just cant see me driving around the summit listening to that. EVER.

In other news, I have had this odd itch to start a small herb garden. I supose another reason I have taken to the blogs, is to read up on ideas. I have the blackest of black thumbs, yet i have this urge to nurture something. Go figure. I may go out and buy some items today. In a few days I can bet i will be ranting about the death of my beloved items. Time will tell.

Any ideas? Any suggestions? Help is ALWAYS welcome.

Happy Monday. hahaha.

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Life in the slow lane..

Well, here I am again. I used to blog long long ago, and eventually bored myself out of it all!

I kid, I kid!

Actually with school, work and family I really didn't have the time or patience. Come to think of it, I've always been a bit short on patience!

So to recap my last few months, Mama passed away. My heart still aches every day.
With the loss of Mama came the loss of job, health insurance and financial security. LOVELY right?!

I never realized how entirely impossible it is to find a job nowadays. I've always had a secure job, and to lose it over something so stupid as burying my mother truely enrages me. I have been beating the alleady worn down path of the job market. Woe is me. Unless I can magically find money for school, or I was to move to South Dakoata, Kentucky or Arizona, I'm pretty much...screwed.

The reasons for this blog: I actually started reading a blog a few weeks back from a young woman in Kentucky who is following her pregnancy. Never pregnant myself, I found myself LOVING her blog. She is so fresh and out there. I have never seen anyone less censored. She really seems to enjoy putting it ALL out there, no matter what the topic. Suffice to say, I am a huge fan and have taken to reading her daily just to see what else she has to say.

Is it wierd that eventually I've come to feel as if i KNOW this woman?! Silly.

I also decided to blog out of sheer boredom. At the moment, I have set up camp with my elderly father to help him get the house in shape for selling. What i plan to do after that remains to be seen, so, why my document along the way!

So let the journey begin, Keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times, and i'll see ya real soon :D

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