Bittersweet memories..

My feelings on the next two days are bittersweet.

While I am excited to have some girl time with my sister, I dread tomorrow the most.
Not only is tomorrow the 2 month since mama passed, but we are going to my sisters house.
The last time I was at my sisters was the last time i saw my mother well. I use the term 'well' loosely because she was so sick for so many years, but i define well as living, breathing, laughing,talking on her own and not in the hospital.

So, my heart is getting heavier and heavier as the hours pass into tomorrow. It will be hard to be there thinking of all the memories. This is especially hard as it is the first time my father and I will leave the house for more than a few hours at a time.

I supose no one knows how I feel better than my sister. Losing her little boy two years ago was hard enough, losing her step-mom;my mom was even harder, having miscarried last week. worse. She knows what it is like to go to place with memories, to make it through one day at a time.

I miss my mommy. I miss her so much it hurts constantly. They say depression hurts... They we'rent kidding. Too early Too soon. My heart it sad.

welll... happy weekend i supose. blog on..