You make me wanna say

What happened to real music.

Maybe I have a different sense of 'real' music than most people my age. I saw a Facebook post saying "wow, Usher's OMG is PERFECTION' so naturally I felt compeled to search it down and listen. It is not perfection! I loved Usher. I spent my hard earned money to see him in concert and I will admit i even joined in a rushing of the stage. That was back when he spent more time dancing and singing then fiddling with his voice changers and crying about his baby-mama's.

Gone is the days of crooners and true vocal abilities. In are the days of sythesized music and fakeness. I remember as a kid my mom gave me one of those microphones that echoed your voice and made you sound all fake voiced. Apparently this handy dandy childs toy is the inspiration for today's music.

I really do not care to listen to what sounds like someone making a fake voice on the computer. Give me a real singing voice, with real lyrics instead of repeating the same 1-2 lines OVER and over. Really. Please? Are my 23 year old ears that oldfashioned that I can not handle this pathetic attempt at 'music'?

I do not claim to have ANY vocal abilities, but that does not mean I am tone deaf and so dumb I will believe the robot voice really comes from you. It doesn't.

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A Birthing Story.

But not really!

I woke up this morning to a pounding on my door. Before I could even get my mind to realize it wasn't a stampede of drunken elephants, my door swung open. There stood my father panting, in track pants and a winter sweater. What...the...? My normally well dressed father looked like he had gotten dressed in the dark. There he stood, panting and moaning.

" What is wrong?!", I exclaimed, still slightly in dream world.

He explained that he was feeling pain in his leg and the surgeon had instructed him to go to the hospital. All i could picture was-this is what it would be like to take someone in labor to the hospital. For a few minutes I felt like I was in a time warp and my father was having a baby. I blame to semi-asleepness.

So I haul out of bed screeching about my wild lady hair, and begin frantically looking for clothes.

"Don't you worry, I'll get you there!", I half mumble as I continue digging. A throat clear from behind me.

"We ..uh... don't need to be there until 1:00", he informs me. I glance at the clock which proudly tells me it is not even 10 yet, meaning I still have a few more hours of sleep. At this point I think my body went into instant snooze. I gently pushed him out before closing my door and crawling back into bed.

Needless to say, I am now up,showered ,dressed and a little bit skeptical. He claims he has been in unbareable pain all night. Yet he is sitting downstairs watching old cowboy movies and drinking coffee, laughing away. Something feels off, like I might still be dreaming? I think maybe he just needs a little more attention than one person has to give him.

hmm. More to come on what I am sure will be an interesting emergancy visit

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I saw the sun

And a cloud monster ATE IT!

Seriously.

Dear Weather,

My name is Jessica. I have a wedding in a month and I am severely in need of a tan.
After a terribly long winter spent indoors, my spanish skin has started to look....pale. This is simply unacceptable. I would much appreciate it if you could spray some de-cloud. My skin craves the sun, and perhaps a but of a tan. Hopefully I will not have to resort to a tanning bed or self tanner in the meantime.

Yes, I understand it is possibly to get sun even with clouds. However I feel it is impossible to sit outside when it is raining, snowing, below 50 degrees or the clouds are so thick it looks like fog.

Please take my idea into consideration!

Thanks,

Albino chica.

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Getting Old While You Are Still Young

In the past few years I have begun to realize how fast I was forced to grow up.

In my 20's I should be out living life and having a ball. And, sometimes I do. Most of the time I don't. It's not for lack of trying. I just, do not enjoy it anymore.

Around the age of 6 I started going to my aunt's house after school. She had Multiple Sclerosis and 2 young sons. I would get off the bus and walk her oldest home. I was often left in charge of feeding them and changing them as her illness progressed. We moved when i was 8.

I had a few years of being a kid before my mom was dianosed with Multiple Sclerosis too, amoung various other illnesses. In the begining she was able to fend for herself, but it was always in the back of my mind that she would one day need me. As I got older, while my friends were having parties and sleepovers, it became harder to have them at my house. My mom was constantly getting worse and introducing her to things like colds were not a good idea. I hid her away iI admit it. Sometimes she would forget who I was, why would I want to share that?

Around 18, after one semester of college, my mother confessed that she had suffered through a deep depression over me leaving which had set her MS into a flair. Around this time her current Home Health Aid had come into some money and decided to quit. My mother asked me to come home. I did no questions asked and stayed until she died. 5 years. (so you can see I didnt just lose my mother, I lost my life, my job, my education and my friends)

Friends are not always the easiest thing to hold onto during these times. My friends wanted to go out and party or just out in general. In the begining I did those things, but as my mother came to rely on me more those things stopped. I had to cancel or come home early. On nights out to the bar I spent most of those nights as a designated driver because chances were my mom would need me when I got home.

At the time I felt like i was doing the right thing. In my mind I was being a good daughter. I took over cleaning, cooking, scheduling medical visits. I drove her where-ever she wanted. I did all her medicines and grocery shopping. I in essance became the sole caregiver and housewife. My father helped when he was able., but god love him, he was in his 60's with a bad back and working full time. I ended up taking care of him too.

I will never regret the times I had with my mother, but I don't have to like them. By my teens I was viewed by my elders as an equal because I was forced to grow up and see things most teens will never see. I really never got to enjoy those teen and young adult years becuase of the life I lived.

So on a night like tonight, when I know there is some "famous" host at our local downtown club complex, where my highschool friends are having a party for one of the girls, and the thought of going holds zero interest-I feel a bit sad. I wish I wanted to be there, to act crazy, make a few mistakes have a blast. I almost wish it even crossed their minds to think to invite me.They probably knew I wouldnt enjoy it anyways.It all just seems to pointless to me.

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Nostalgia, Reviews and a Little bit of This and That.

Generally I am not one to really look back and mourn the old days. But lately I have a little bit.

This is not a whine about lost friendships, old stories, or missing family. Bloggers, it is you I miss. I miss the old blogs when people sat around and just, ya know, wrote. Now when you open a person's blog you will most certainly find a few messy sentences put together with a ton of pictures to support the heavy load of the blog. While ,granted, some blogs, like fashion blogs, rely on a picture to help you grab an idea, please put a little effort into the actual written part. Give me something more than a link to a store where I can get the item shown, or its knock-off sister.

Please, please do not get me wrong. I enjoy pictures. I really do, but just every once in a while I would love to sit down with my coffee and read. After all, this is an internet journel (so i supose you can say I am a snoop), but I like to sit down and read a little bit just to feel like I learn something about you.

I love an author like Amy from lifeinslowmotion. She hold nothing back and it is wonderful. To read about her pregnancy and raising her young daughter makes you feel like you are apart of her life. Beyond her children she blogs about her beliefs, her likes and dislikes and her little 'farm'. I can honestly say, without ever having met this woman or ever having the chance to meet her in the future, that I feel as if I know her. She is candid and smart. I enjoy seeing what I will learn from her any given week. To date I have learned the good and bad of pregnancies, how to sprout a small crop of my own veggies, how to raise chickens, and the list goes on.

I also enjoy a more recently found blogger, Allie from HyperboleandaHalf .She is without a doubt the funniest blogger I have stumbled across. Her witty banter and hilarious pictures leave me craving for more. She is an example of someone who can equal out the ratio of picture vs. storyline. Regardless if all her wild tales are true or false, she is someone who knows how to hold an audiences attention. I know on a bad day a story my Allie will leave me with a little smile on my face!

I supose I really have no say in the world of bloggery because, really, who am I? I don't have any fans, and chances are I don't have any readers. Honestly that doesn't bother me. In a world where we often have to censor our thoughts so as not to upset someone, here we can all be our real selves.But that in itself is a whole other story!

I don't claim to be a blog genius. I love run-on sentences, bad grammar and the occasional nonsensical post. On the off chance one of the two bloggers I mentioned actually reads this: My intention was not to make you feel uncomfortable as a blogger. I really just wanted to state that I enjoyed your blogs.That is all. No stalker tendancies, scouts honor. *grin*

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Hey Hey~ Pay Attention to me!

I thought of a sickness story for you. It involves my whole week!

Sunday: I woke up feeling like ass. Everything hurt i felt like a spiked demon had crawled into my mouth while i slept and attached to my tonsil. My nose started oozing copious amounts of fluids. I considered the option of death as i layed in my bed until 6am wheezing and drowning in my own secretion.

Monday: As i staggered down the stairs my father looks at me."You look like crap!..uh..not to be mean or anything its just that...welll..." I think i croaked out a thank you as i rummaged through the drawers for a knife to cut my tonsils out. My father eventually took pity on me and made me an appointment with my Doctor. After a few hums and ews. He mumbles something like "nnaasssty" after looking in my ears, nose and throat. He also seemed skeptical about my only having felt sick for one day ahead of this. I immadiately began picturing all the illnesses I could have.

Side note: I seem to teeter on the line of normal and hypochondria. Usually i fall over the line and begin to imagine that I have cancer, or will need some sort of transplant. I begin to think of what life would be like IF....

Tuesday: After another night of wheezing and drowning in my own snot, I was even more exhausted. I began to actually consider that my doctor was wrong and I had a horrible illness and not just a severe infection. I remember laying in my bed, whistless and praying to the gods to have pity on me. They pitied me by adding a painful hacking cough to my list. Eventually it occured to me that the annoying noise I kept hearing was someone at the door. After i staggered down the stairs gingerly whiping my red nose and coughing like i was fighting for my last breath, I finally made it to the door. There stood a giant, hair, dirty man."Wow, are you going to die? You look horrible!," exclaims my new giant. Apparently this man didnt know what tact was. I told him i have the plague and he was going to die just for looking at me. He seemed a little uncomfortable. Hell if i know why though.

Tuesday Night: I had determined that I was going to sleep if it killed me. It nearly did. I took my prescribed meds, rubbed some vicks, and drank some tea. Shortly after settling into bed with my book to watch Glee, I had to pee. I dragged my listless body from bed and immediately collapsed. After attempting and failing a few times to get up I decided to just lay down for a bit and hope to not pee myself. I remember staring at a crumpled tissue as if it was my sole reason for surviving. Eventually I made it to my feet. The world would not stop titling! I made it to the bathroom, which was no small accomplishment as I nearly fell down the stairs. After falling asleep on the toilet for no specified amount of time I began to worry. It crossed my mind to wake my dad so he could decide if i needed a doctor. But, since his surgery, he can not drive. If i woke him I would still have to get myself there, which clearly was not going to happen. Eventually after a few false starts, I made it back to bed. I prayed that I would wake up.


By the way,judging by the hail outside. It's a good thing I already made myself collect the trash. Yipes

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Stop! It's sexy time

Hair frazzled and perma pony-tailed? check

Nose red, pealing and runny? check

Loss of taste and smell? check

I do believe that classifies me in crappy sickness. I am horribly infected and in dire need of sleep.

It hasnt been a good week and frankly I am too tired to come up with an interesting story. Be happy to know I still live.

blog on

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Stick a Fork in Me, I'm DONE

I went to the Doctor this afternoon, and it was the first time I did not spend 4 hours or more there! Score!

After answering a bunch of questions from the nurse, I was finally about to see my Doc. He inspected my ears, nose and throat. After typing furiously on his little handy-dandy laptop, he looks to me and exclaims, "You must have been sick for at least a week! Why did you not call sooner?!". Meanwhile I have only been sick for about 2 days. So where did this magic virus come from?! Apparently I am a disgusting mix of sinus ,ear and throat infections thus rendering me retarded. I am unable to breath, eat or sleep without wishing for death. My ears are continuously popping as if the altitude is changing. I have a fever.

I have 2 inhalers, 20 days of antibiotics and a nasal spray. Please god, let something kick in and dull my pain before I lose my mind. Granted I don't have some life threatening illness, but losing the ability to breath while drowning in my mucus. SIGH...

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Am I allergic to people?

In the past few weeks (months, years whateveeer) we have not had many people in our house.Yesterday my dads cousins decided to invite him and his wife over. They bring their dog Petie. I really can not say if Petie was make or female or just confused. With a boys name and a jeweled pink color, who can really be sure. Petie proceeded to attack every garbage can it could get its paws on. Seriously people. Why have a dog if you have to bring it everywhere because if you leave it home it will tear your house apart?! And why must you bring it to my non-dog friendly home. really not. common sense people.

Anyway, I have been feeling pretty crappy this weekend but i chalked it up to being busy.With Pop useless that leaves me to do all the housework plus any errands he can think up. As you can imagine, he can never seem to lump things together into one day.Thus, I have been busier than normal.

Add to that achey, tired, irritable and an annoyingly runny nose. I figured busy time and allergies. Of course my body would choose a Sunday to break down on me! I awoke this morning wheezing, feeling like i have swallowed a golf ball, runny nose, tearing eyes, achey feverish and downright pissed off.WHYYYYYYYYYY?! This ALWAYS happens. I am like a walking illness factory. So I am sitting here staring at a large amount of over the counter meds hoping something will help so i wont have to go to the DR. GAHHHHH.

I'm going to bed. the end.
blog on

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Earthquakes and other fun things

So, with all the recent earthquakes, you can imagine my surprise to be woken up to what appaeared to be an earthquake in PA! I hauled out of bed wild-eyed and smeared with drool (sexxxy). My bed room was shaking with what felt like small aftershocks of an earthquake. Or at least what I imagined them to feel like.

After frantically pulling on my cacoon of sheets and blankets and shrieking ,"EARTHQUAKE . OH MY GOD OH MY GOD", I realized my father coule be hurt somewhere. So being the super-hero I am, I rushed from my room and into his,EMPTY. As I was fleeing down the stairs shouting I noticed 5 men standing on my front yard. To say the least, they looked...work haggard and grungy. Immediately my mind filled with stories of looting and derelicts gone wild.

We have nothing of value. Go away! Then I realize the shaking has stopped. I look around and spot my father calmly eating breakfast as if we hadn't just lived through an earth quake. Did he not feel that?! Why is he not freaking out?! Is it even possible to have a earthquake in PA?

I return to my post near the window and realize the previously mentioned men are holding large equipment. Then it hits me. We were having out from porch and walk way demo'd today.

::facepalm::

After that I decided it was best to keep a low profile so i wouldn't start screaming 'flood' when then power washed the crap away.

Thats all for now!

Blog on

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Deoderant is not tasty

I was out running errands, grabbed for my little box of tic tacs and suddenly my mouth was all cakey and dried up! OMG what is happening?! I look down to see my little travel deoderant managed to crumble all over everything in my purse. I must have dropped a piece in my mouth

I considered calling poison control. But even I couldnt justify eating deoderant. I decided to wait and see if i would die. I'm still alive so thats good. i guess.

Then i get home to inspect my mouth and i managed to scratch my head with my newly growing nails! (I am finally conquering my nail biting!!) and i drew blood. I felt a sting and looked up a few seconds later to see a little trickle of blood.

Why is this happening to me!? I swear I couldnt make this up if i tried.

After stopping my bleeder and attacking my mouth with tooth paste and mouth wash just incase, I remembered I needed to drop some more forms off in town. I love this area of town because it is so....different. Without all the cars driving through it looks like a quaint old town with cute little store fronts lining the road ,shaded by trees.

Apparentlymy bad luck decided to follow me. I happened to miss out on any close parking so i parked down a side alley. As I am stepping over pot holes and making my way to my destination, I was nearly run down by UPS! The lovely driver missed the entrance he was aiming for and ended up hopping the curb 2 feet from me. Had i not haulted and jumped back, I would probably be a pancake. He didnt even slow down. ASS.

Dropped papers off, watched especiallyfor evil UPS man lurking. I was paying so much attention to not getting run down that I tripped and fell just as a police car goes cruising by. He stops (probabl assuming im drunk. and or retarded)

Police: Ma'am are you ..alright?
Me:Uhm.. yeah, I just tripped is all

*drag myself up and dust my pants off feeling like a fool*

Police: Have you been drinking?
Me: Noo, I simply fell.

*finally look at cop*

Me:Eric?!
Police: Uh, Yeaaah? Oh Hey! Jessica!

Apparently its a small world. I used to be friends with a few cops, about 6 years ago. Apparently things never changed and it happened to be someone I knew. He checked me over, gave me a flirty smile and we caught up. How strange.

Annywho. Blog on :)

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If you start to look like you have tumbleweed on yus head, shave yur head.

Soo, exactly one week into my perm and I'm feeling saddness.

I have ,er.. had. the flatest hair. It was that kind that looks at a curling iron and faints.Last week I got this brilliant idea to get a 'body wave', which apparently is really just a loose perm... On my hair.. it was curly. CRAP.

After 3 hours of setting rollers, pouring chemicals on me and making me wait, I vaguely remember her saying 'I hope you like big hair! I dooo!" as i stared in shock at my now fluffy hair.

What have i donnnnnne?!

Slowly i come to terms with my decision. It will eventually wear off right? yea... in 3 months. double crap.

So I leave the salon with a puffy new do, it grows on me. When i am finally allowed to wash my chemical smelling scalp I am uber excited.

2 days follow with great hair results, bouncy curls, no frizz. I must be a master at curly hair... A few more days pass and I start to notice portions of my under layers are not so curly. What is this?! I try to go with the whole 'let it chill for a day, dont touch it wash it or anything' ,yea,still limp. WTF, my right side of my head looks saggly.

I finally give in and buy some curl enhancing products, wash, apply, scrunch and it look decent, crisis averted. Hours later I pass a mirror, where has this flat area come from and why is it looking more waved than curled, also why is my smooth bounce starting to look frazzled and fro-ish?

weep

Begin seriously regretting this decision. I just haaaad to look more like my sisters didnt i. damnit damn damn. Paw at hair. Apply anti frizz, look greasy.Cry.Stare in the mirror for an hour. I have no idea how to handle this. my hair has never been a frizzed mess. I look like i stuck my finger in a socket while wearing nails made of metal.

WHAT DO I DOOOO???? Also, since the upper curl seems to be going no where fast, how do i revive the wasted mess at the bottom? Without obviously spending hours curling those pieces. Why is this happening a WEEK after I had this done? I waited 48 hours as directed before my first wash. Does my hair suck that much?! Probably. Triple crud.

Perhaps I should follow in the footsteps of Allie from 'Hyperbole and a Half' and shave my head? I don't really want to resemble a cancer patient though. Tomorrow I will attempt to right this. somehow. I cant say for certain HOW but... it will happen. I hope.

well suggestions are always a plus!

blog on

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Things That Make Me Kinda Mad

Everyone has pet peeves. Often we try to pretend we don't, so as not to possibly offend someone somewhere that we may possibly never even meet. So yes, I have pet peeves, and yes I feel like sharing them today!

Lack of helpful employees in a store

Generally I am too socially retarded to actually accept help from the lurking sales clerk that pops out of the shadows to ask "Are you finding everything alright? just lemme know if you need help"- I almost always decline... or at the least offer a non-commital smile and slink away before they try to talk to me again. I am a little wierd. whatever.

but

There is always that ONE time when i really do need help. I found/can not find that one item I need. Maybe it was broken when i found it. Maybe I needed the clerk to do a price check, get a new one, find the appropriate box, anything. Suddenly the lurker is gone. The store suddenly looks like a ghost town that i stumbled into. "hello?...is anyone working right now?" -which in itself is dumb to ask, because clearly someone is working if i make it into the store without setting off an alarm.DUH. Eventually I end up so flustered or annoyed that i end up dropping everything, convinced I will find something even better in a store where people actually work, even though I probably won't accept their help anyway. ...right.

Waiting on other people

I don't mean like serving someone else. I mean waiting for them to get around to doing something for me.

Example: My dad was in the hospital, they discharged him at 12:30. The Nurse informs me it is against policy to wheel him outmyself. So, we wait. We watch a show. I begin standing by the door way looking upset so someone will hurry up. An hour ticks by..finally we ring for a nurse who can not even get out of her chair to see what's wrong. a static filled intercom voice pops in *crackle* "Can i help you" *crackle crackle siiiigggh" What if i was chocking. or having a heart attack and my last attempt to save myself was to0 press the call button. that you responded to 15 minutes later? HUH HUH?! WHAT THEN?!...right so anyways. I begin pacing the halls looking aggitated and mumbling... finally the nurse comes back and informs us that the transport came by and said we werent in the room. He just had back surgery,where the hell else would be be other than his room dipshits?! We wait ANOTHER hour... long story short, all we needed was an able bodied person to wheel his wheelchair to the front desk because god forbid I was allowed to. A 5 minute ordeal turns into leaving after 3:30.

Wait wait wait. Why when I am capable of doing it myself?!

The 'What are you doing with your life' question

I hate that question I really do. More now then ever. I have actually begun to avoid family functions to simply not have to answer. I am too pathetic to come up with something that doesn't make me sound like a loser.I get sweaty palms knowing when my turn comes to answer it will almost always sound lame, cause a look of pity or make the person who just finished sound like God.

So when I hear that question I simply have to wonder, what do you really care. Be honest, it might make you feel better to know that while i did well in highschool, I have no official training of sorts, no set skills, no job, -You dont actually care.

This question almost always branches off into...

Why aren't you in college, you should be...

Why thank you for putting you two cents in. Are you now going to fork over the money for my tuition? NO? I didnt think so. Seriously, NOTHING pisses me off more than someone making coments about school.

I am sure they mean well, but it almost always leads into saying how I dont have the money to be a fulltime student. Which of course they either answer: A. why not ask mom and dad? or B. Have you applied for finacial aid?- Nooo I am so stupid it never occured to me to ask for financial aid! Damn all that time wasted.

Oh courseI have. There seems to be 2 things wrong: 1. Even though my mother (before passing on) made decent money before getting sick, we dont make enough. Think about it, she had been on disability for most of mylife because of her illness, that means no increase.EVER.and 90% of that money is split between the debt building up from medical costs, or the current bills we are stuggling to pay. My father is a 65 yr old forced retiree, who Im sure neverr planned to have 3 children, let along a baby in his 40's/. There is no magic money coming from them. As it is I gave half of my paychecks to support THEM.
Then of course that still leaves financial aid: Yes we apply, we almost always get little to nothing because the schools dont factor in where our money actually goes, and I can not apply on my own because I am under 24.

So, just dont ask, It is easier on us both.

Age/name stereotyping

We live in a country full of different sorts of people. Why is it then I feel like i am almost always judged by my last name and or age.

The first time i realized this was when we moved to PA from FL. Apprently in the minds of my narrow minded teachers, I, Jessica Mendez, was a migrant workers child. My first day they brought in a spanish translator for me. I don't speak enough spanish to even attempt a convo. I just happen to have a father with a spanish background. So i stared at these people like theywere insane, and asked in perfect english if it was okay for me to join the other kids not. Hello-please insert your foot in mouth. Stupid teachers. They asked if my family would be around for just the season or staying a while, I informed them that my mother was the vice president of the new bank opening and I was sure we would stay a while. Again awkward.

The second time I delt with this was shortly after the first incident. I went on a play date to a new friends house. Imagine her mothers surprise when My red haired-freckled-power suit wearing mom dropped off her light haired-pale-freckly-clean daughter. gasp She had the nerve to tell us she had warned her daughter not to get too fond because we were probably migrant workers just breazing through. bitch.

The third time I noticed this I was a little older and wiser. The bank teller would not allow me to deposit and withdraw money from my account I had held for over 5 years. She wanted a bunch of unnecessary information-I know, my mom ran a bank and didnt raise a fool. Apparently she assumed because I was young, that I was stupid and foreign. Think again sista.

So please take the time to know someone beyond age and race. Kay?

Anything involving patience

I don't have any. Nuf said.

Larger sized clothing-misinformation

Why is it always assumed that the larger the size, the bigger the bust needs to be, and the longer the pants need to be? Maybe I am a short, small chested heavy person. Ever think of that? We do exsist.

I happen to be above a size 6. However I happen to also be 5'2, and I don't have a C-DD cup.
Why must I pass up on adorable clothing because it would cost more to alter it than to purchse the item. It really is annoying. I know I know, lose weight. Been there done that, that doesnt always solve the underlying problem though.

Prejudice about the obese

Why is it okay for someone to assault, mock, belittle a heavy person? Do the attackers think that their jeering makes us snap to and suddenly fit into their small minded society. Nope.

Just because I am larger does not make me stupid, dirty or lazy. I happen to have a 3.7 gpa, I can not stand being dirty, and I enjoy being active.

Please be mindful of our feelings. Just because we happen to be larger than you, doesnt mean our feelings don't exsist. We might laugh of your rude comments, but deep down it does hurt. And why do we put ourselves down you ask? Its easier for us to beat you to the punch. Hearing it from our lips hurts a little less than having you voice your opinions.

And guess what, I found love! Just because you don't find me attractive doesnt mean someone else wont. Get over yourself. Please.

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So there you have it, those are the pet peeves I can come up with at the time. I hope you didnt see this as bitchy, ranting or complaining. This was meant to be an insight to who I am, how i feel and a little haha-ish. Hopefully you got that!

Blog on

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This I know..

Incase anyone was curious...

Apple Cheerios do not equal Apple Jacks cereal.

While both are good the fattening Apple Jacks flavor is much more awesome...

on the same note..

Special K Blue Berry Cereal, again, does not in anyway shape or form taste like Muffin Tops.

I tried it. I have this insane fetish for the blue berry goodness that resembles cinnamon toast crush but tastes like sugary muffins. In an attempt to better myself, I switched to Special K...it just doesn't live up to the muffin tops.

Please don't get me wrong readers and CEO's of such companies... I love all cereal, but when it comes to comparisons in my opinion, the healthier choice is not always an equal contender. Sorry. That's life.

I will admit my secret liking of the apple cheerios though..

Dad had his surgery a few days ago... What started out as a 1 hour surgery ended up with me sitting in a crowded waiting room for 4 hours. Thanks to the 4 trauma's that came in and were deemed more important than my father.

(btw CMC staff, thanks so much for letting me know that even though i saw you wheel him on a gurney into the OR, he actualy didnt have his surgery for 2 hours after that because of said traumas coming in. I really had fun fretting and thinking you possibly killed my father and were talking with your legal team about how best to handle me... even after i requested an update bc HA your updating board was frozen from two days ago... A simple 'His surgery has been pushed back due to a surge in traumas' would have cut my horrible thoughts short. Thanks. Really. not.)

where was i? right right 4 hours...

So I'm waiting, crammed in a chair, tired, bitchy, watching the whining children. wait a sec! I haz Apple cheerios in a plastic bag! Thank god!

Me: *munches on cheerios*

Brat1: Mooooom, I am HUUUUUNNNNGRRRRRYYY. When can we go to mc-donalds?!

TiredMom: As soon as we know daddy is out of the room with the Doctor hon. PLease try to relax and be a big boy for mommy.

Me: *eyes the ppl, munch munch munch*

Brat2: but but, Mommmy We want chzzzBurgerz. Puh-lease can we go. *pause* Can we haf a snack?

Brat1: Yeah!!!!!*begins to chant with brother* SNACK SNACK SNACK

Brats1&2: *turns eyes on me, drooling as they watch my munching*

Brat1: *walks over to me* Hi, can i haz some puhlease

Me:*Looks from her bag to the brats to the tiredmom and raises her eyebrows to tiredmom* I uhm. well... uhm....

TiredMom: Oh my goodness what a life saver you are!! *snatches my bag from my hands* Here kids say thanks

So, I lost my apple cheerios. but... They were good for a few minutes. Ok then.

Blog on.

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I haz SOCKS

son of a beeeeech.

I spent all this timy typing a cute lady crsuh post to my newest blog find. and feckin wireless eats crud and dies.

siiiiiigggghhh

I dont feel like remembering what i typed aside from :

*my feets iz cold. i haz sucks (thus the title!)
* I finded a new blog. she is a montage of hilarity and i haz a lady blogger crush.(in a non-stalker, non lesbian way)
* I did nothing today which left me with nothing to blog about.. It also foiled my plans to draw a fun peeture in honor of new blogger lady
*I think i also pleaded for a job from the no one who reads this. HA. Because my awesome typing skills, lack of training, and whatnot would TOTES encourage someone to hire me. riiight.


right well. thanks to my sucktastic internet, my post is even more pathetic. thank you internet trolls for leaving me looking like a loser. much appreciated.

blog on.

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Life in the FAT lane..

Seriously. Excuse my rant in advance.

I need to stop watching these stupid Hallmark Movies. because they are if nothing else... total bullshit.

Take 'Queen Sized', tonights movie about an overweight teen who after being teased, gets elected homecoming queen.

The whole movie just made me SHUDDER with disgust.And not because shes 'fat' but because of the total bull of the movie.

The whole monstrosity revolves around the fat chick who they portray as an over eating, whining, sniveling baby. She shoves chocolated, chips, ice cream in her face and then boo hoo's herself about being fat.

They make it seem as though all fat people are fat because they are lazy and overeat. YES, some do. but there are also a NUMBER of medical issues that contribute.

Meanwhile, in the end the suposed 'popular bitch' turns out to be the good guy. bc "omg. SHOCKER!" shes really a self hating girl who is really super nice underneath., And it turns out fat Maggie loses site of her goal and turns into a me me me girl. SIGH. get real.


Maybe I take offense to the fatitude. I was active, I went to the gym regularly. I cut out sugar, salts, carbs and most meats. I went to weight loss Doctors, meetings, clubs. Tried all the fad diets, tried following a diet made esp for me by licensed dieticians. Guess what, I still was overweight.

In an effort to branch out I did chearleading, I joined the bands color guard and spent hours on the field, i participated in powder puff both years.

Was i swarming in friends, popularity and dates? Nope
Was i losing weight like all the "experts" said i should be? Nope


So please, don't generalize the fat world as lazy pathetic and self loathing. Some of all are confident and healthy, even if we arent IDEAL.

blah. rant rant. sigh.

Happy Easter!
blog onn.

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